Red Light (V)

Ever since was all but warm and tingly. Pure frosty words, masks and gestures had been all that was handed to me in the exchanging of words. I never really knew the extent of his god forsaken emotions due to embarrassment, after all it was he that self submerged his soul in turmoil. It had been black jokes and secret stashes of darts that were stacked away at a ready to be thrown at him constantly whenever he needed to untie my leash for service.

And the demonic command followed. In relation to being in an advertising company that had my ass on the thinnest of strings at about 20 000 feet up in the air, I had two choices. Nod and agree, die or scrap off a living without Eloise. I knew she would do anything. There was this amazing love packed with the commitment to go through dust and rats with me. I'd be creeping closer to self termination with the roll play of her with me on a desert of nothing but sand before my rounded windows set upon my face everyday.

"Brothel Promos"

Every phonetic utter or mutter had been like dices with zeros on each side. It was the last thing I wanted to hear even if I needed to hear it. Gusher should never have entered the realm of the happening then. If only he'd transformed into a female whilst on his way into planet Earth. The catch to his promotion and me keeping my job and life was using the flawless being right then and there sitting at home waiting my arrival. Even if I were to be strapped to a chair beaming with splints by the Nazis and had every limb as a choice for dinner, I'd never put Eloise in a place where all we lived off from were beans and sewage water.

I had reconsidered, hesitated and stopped. It was never possible for me to see her on tiny billboards with the skimpiness and all. Just ghastly and only ghastly. Two tongue rolls later and I had packed my desk. Sketching out a plan to take Xodus with me to leave her with the least amount of weight was what sent the common salty brim with a roll down the cheeks that hurt most of the time. Walking home that day was like a journey through a world without friction.

Red Light (IV)

You could taste it in the air, the very sporadic basis of actual joy in the midst of colleagues who never gave. It was probably the best sketched picture to set eyes on given the peeving place I had to be of presence every five days a week. I'd walked over to the front of the ballroom as the proposal of having an open competition was made. The ceiling was high, lights were dim. A long streaming line of people waiting for punch at the far end of the right wing, trailing faint conversations carrying no substance. Inside I couldn't wait to go home, no one really knew me. Gusher was the only one I had relations with, mutual would be the last word to describe it. He was the boss from hell.

Standing on stage was that irking ball of blubber. He'd open the floor for a "show down". Different elements from different branches of the advertising company I had been working for were intrigued by this idea. Not that they were hard to entertain. The whole thing was so conventional, like something from Whose Line. Being the person he was, duty called. Inescapably my name was a part of his suggestions, I'd put my daily reads to use. I knew what I was getting into.

Closing on the individual with egoism brimming at the seems, I'd tried to ignore the on going roars of insult and ridicule. Pairs of Sapphires and forest, staring and tracking me. Exactly like heaven I'd say, the spot light was no less than blinding. Face to face with him, wearing a smirk so full of "natural" glimmer and gloss, cheeks reeking with acne and a lined forehead from notepads. I was so ready, in my mind with every ounce of sarcasm I could muster into the next move.

He called out the first line starting with the letter A. Subsequent replies had to start with letters from the alphabet consecutively. I'd finished the last sentence and somehow I felt rather enlightened and exited the stage with a simper. Silence then indicated his defeat and no one had a clue of how to react. I turned and had my candle put out in an instant. If only he hadn't thrown himself into his very own sheer anguish.

Red Light (III)

Sinking feelings were nothing but cranes that just had to be shifted. I couldn't decipher my own thoughts. It felt like everything that was good or there in the spectrum of was going to slowly maneuver and disappear its way through my life to the point where then was all I had to hold on to. The journey to the office was short but in every bit provoking. The habit of checking if the car was actually locked had kicked in.

"Good morning Liam. Look, I don't care how everything is, just get me my coffee."

I had recited the line in its rough fossil as it was portrayed in life. Rather amusing having a boss in all his rotundness to be the main lead. He turned while snapping his some what everyday mouldy suspenders hoping for a kink out of calmness from me. I'd tried, with every ounce I had. This was my pathetic way of brightening the next seven hours up. I'd ignored the constant disturbance in my stomach. The coffee was set and I waited like Xodus when I was the one with the ball. Of course, the case was in reversed psychology. What came after was the demon of all commands. It sounded absolute in the worse way possible. If I wasn't me with all I had, love, warmth and life waiting in a place called home, it would've been a celebratory situation.

Red Light [II]

After I'd eked my recline from her I was inevitably greeted by the soft and would've been bristled due to sun soaked back yards obedient Xodus, my company for the mundane mornings. Sitting at the breakfast table made things beautiful. Every warp, every movement would take me by the hand to a different place. Nothing stayed the same. Xodus' wagging tail and soft thuds from above could only mean one word. Eloise. It was me wanting things to never change that made it seem like she was hovering over grounds that never existed.

Something real set in. The clock tells stories, ones that make you cringe, and only leave you nauseated. Some so creamy and oceanic. That thing, time, had left me in my closet searching for one of Eloise's master pieces. The black, simple yet so elegant tie. Swift steps of womanhood and soon enough arms around my neck aiding the antagonising process of getting it to go around. I'd prepared for the same old hours that were coming my way. She planted one on me. So I thought I was ready, cleverly that day was planned for my destruction. I was driving to the pit of doom.

Red Light

Guzzling sounds and intoxicating cries, typical and stirred into everyday symphony. It wasn't clear. It never was. The fort nights got less liberating. I some how found my way back to reality and its rutty pits of coal. Eloise was further than I could fathom and her voice got very muffled. I'd never felt so dark and cold. That day was the first, I prayed for it to be my last. Every thing had vapourised but I wasn't in that state to know what I needed, essential and necessary. Walked out through throbbing sweaty bodies. On the street where nothing was tangible, with my reflection on the concrete ground. Every thing was equally breakable. Colossal footsteps I took were understatements.

Kringle and pleasant entered my nose, I knew it was a fresh morning. Her hands welled up in mine as we stayed in the warm collection that was the queen of all beds. I turned to meet the glorious contoured familiar face I always woke up to. She smiled, as did I.